FICTION
It Happened Because We Were Young
Both of us were young people. We fell in love and I felt it was so easy! At the same time it was very difficult. It happened like this, and with time it became much too difficult for both of us to know how to do things right. And it was necessary to do things right in order to save our lives, and to save the life of a daughter. This is where we failed.
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Understanding
It’s about a bad conscience. It’s about us not understanding each other and what happened. It’s about us being young and inexperienced. And then there was a slight mental illness in the picture.
There were so many things that came into play that made things go wrong. Eventually things went very badly.
The first years we were not so bad. We had a good time together, I think. What I do know is that in those years we had sex. Good sex together, I think, she and I. But then it happened. Little by little, almost invisible little signs happened that worsened the climate between us. It was those little things that do things with us without us noticing.
Expecting a child
Things were getting worse and worse, and we noticed it almost too late. That was when it happened. We were expecting a child. We had traveled to her parents and lived there for several months while we waited to become parents. And we were there in the months after the birth, while we were new parents to a new sweet nice little girl.
What was threatening to destroy us was expressed in the way that she was very sad. She was very unstable and sad, and very quick to criticize me.
An Inferno
I experienced it as an Inferno. Nothing was good, everything was wrong or bad. And it was this that eventually gave the relationship the feel we had. The relationship —our cohabitation — went from crisis to crisis. I never knew where I had her, she swung a lot in her mood. It could be very up and down. She could be very happy and content, and then she could be…